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We’ve all felt that way — hurt, resentful, angry, discouraged.

Drug-free fix
Did you know that gratitude stimulates the same feel-good hormones as the drugs Wellbrutin (dopamine) and Prozac (seratonin)? So writes neuroscientist Alex Korb in his book, The Upward Spiral.

My recipe for gratitude
Write three things you feel grateful for.

Not things you know you should be grateful for, but things that bring up grateful feelings as you write them — that’s what kicks out the feel-good neurotransmitters you had in your toolbox all along!

First thing I thought of: I’m grateful for YOU.

Final thought
Dr. Korb tells us that even searching for things to be grateful for helps the brain get back on a positive track.

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Physical pain can make prayer feel impossible. Our mind is focused on wishing it would stop. We feel discouraged and fearful being out of control — thinking how healthy we were a short time ago, and wondering when we’ll feel good again.

And deep down, we’re a little resentful and angry because it feels unfair.

Praying when it’s hard

St. Francis de Sales (1567-1622) wrote this in a letter to an ailing sister who worried that illness was blowing up her prayer life:

"Do not be distressed about having to stay in bed and not being able to meditate, for to endure the scourging of our Lord is no less a good than to meditate. No, it is undoubtedly better to be on the cross with the Lord then to be only looking at Him. But I know very well that there on your sick bed, you cast your heart a thousand times a day into the hands of God, and that’s enough.”

Find a way

St. Francis assures us that if pain preempts our regular prayer life, it’s okay to repeatedly cast our heart to God.

Everyone does that a little differently, so it’s worth experimenting to see what way works for us. The point is to not let pain discourage us from connecting with God, so that our pain can unite with Christ’s suffering for the salvation of the world.

Here are three ideas:

1. Contemplate an image of the crucifix. A tried and true way to remind ourselves that the sinless one endured torture, humiliation, and shameful death for us personally to buy our one-way ticket to heaven. If we call Jesus our friend, are we also willing to climb up on the cross with him when he invites us?

2. Play an audio that makes it easier to cast our heart to God. A meditation, scripture, spiritual audio book, or music can help keep our heart’s focus on Christ, where it belongs.

3. Thank him for the gift of this pain that we can use as “spiritual money” in Christ to release souls from purgatory, save souls from hell, strengthen priests who are tempted, or any other intention the Holy Spirit puts on your heart. Our spiritual work in this way will have infinite value.

“We adore you, O Christ, and we praise you, because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.”

Venerable Thecla Merlo (1894-1964) was co-founder of the Daughters of St. Paul. She wrote this to her sisters who complained that their work was too tedious and difficult:

“If you set about your work determined to do the holy will of God, you won’t fail and you will see that everything turns out for the best. You will find help coming from the most unexpected quarters.

“Believe it! Make an act of faith now! We never have enough faith because we always think the best way to do a thing is the one that suits us best. Isn’t that really the problem?”

Acceptance
Yes, Mother Thecla, that is the problem. Assuming that my way is best while ignoring God’s will is the source of every frustration.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have an idea of what a good outcome should look like. It doesn’t mean that my experience of what works counts for nothing.

Planning
It just means I’ve mixed up what’s my part and what’s God’s part in making something happen. Planning is our part of collaboration with God in any task or project. The outcome is His part.

The virtue of Prudence bids us plan ahead with all relevant factors taken into account (including asking God for guidance), and then taking the best action.

So far so good.

Outcome
The difference between frustration and acceptance has to do with how we view the outcome. And the outcome is entirely up to His will. Needless frustration comes from thinking we have control over both the planning and the outcome.

Tip
When we feel frustrated today, let’s take a look at whether we are making an idol out of our expectations. And make a decision to hande over the outcome of our efforts to God’s benevolent providence.

Prayer
Lord, guide me in my duties and projects today — and remind me to accept whatever outcome your holy will determines is best for my eternal soul and the souls of those for whom I pray. Jesus, I trust in you.

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Sacred Pause sends you golden nuggets from the best Catholic writers — for a day-changing boost of faith, hope, and love.

I’m Rose Folsom — and my happy place is snuggled on the couch with a great book in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

I love it when a line jumps out from the page, and I think, “This is so cool — I have to share this!”

Sacred Pause shares the “ponder me” passages in my favorite books, old and new. And I’ll unpack for you how we can apply that wisdom to our daily life — for more peace and joy.

In under 5 minutes.

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. . . and please share this with anyone you think could use a sacred pause.